Kvod harabbanim, Mom & Dad, family and friends,

We would like to thank everyone who has come from far and near to join in our Simcha.

We would especially like to thank Mom and Dad who made the trip all the way from Main Street. Your extra pair of hands in the last few days has been very very helpful, and we appreciate your love and support always and throughout the years.

We are sorry that some people couldn't be here physically with us today: my parents, Ema and Aba, as well as Zev, and Uncle Ari and Aunt Jen and Kayla, Uncle Michael and Aunt Rivkie and Sam and Jordan, Uncle Jon and Aunt Kimmie and Noah, and Super Uncle David. We also send our love to Bubby and wish her health, happiness, and Nachas ad Me'ah v'esrim. And our love and thoughts are with Aunt Helen. We are thinking about all of you and look forward to sharing many more smachot together.

Although it is not connected to the bris nor to the naming, I feel it appropriate to make mention of my Bubby Aleha Hashalom who was in her mid-nineties and who passed away just a few months ago. How appropriate that we are reading in the Torah of Chayai Sarah, and I think that today we, all of Bubby's children and grandchildren, are actively living Chayei Sarah Beila, or more correctly Surah Bayla. I know that Bubby is schepping her nachas as she watches us today from shamayim, Olam Ha-‘Emes, Emes’ and watches as we follow in her and Zeidy's path of Torah and Eretz Yisrael and continue to be 'Mehalilim et Shem Hashem Ki Nisgav, Ki Nisgav Shemo Levado'.

Halana and I both realize that we are very fortunate. We are fortunate for many reasons, and we have many things to be thankful for. Baruch Hashem we have been blessed with beautiful children who we schep much nachas from.

We are also very fortunate to have such close family and friends, friends from work and from the community, with whom to share our simcha. Thank you for being there with us to dance together and to cry together. You are very dear to us and we say thank you. There are exciting times ahead I which we hope and pray to watch our children grow and play and laugh together in Smachot always.

And now- About the name:

Firstly, what we found to be very special was that both Halana and I each wanted to name after Uncle Ben. It is often the case that only one spouse really knew the person being named after. But I too got to know and love Halana's Great Aunt and Uncle, Aunt Helen and Uncle Ben, and I am honored to name our newest son after Uncle Ben. Uncle Ben, who passed away only a few months ago, always greeted me and accepted me. He was always ready to pick my brain on Intel or Israeli politics, and made me feel very comfortable.

Aunt Helen and Uncle Ben were very close with Halana's grandparents, Mom’s parents. Through that, it is easy to see the special relationship that Mom feels towards Aunt Helen and Uncle Ben. And I think it is mutual. Mom – I, and we, are happy to be able to continue the close relationship, and the closeness to your parents Grandma and Grandpa as well.

Even Lilach noticed this. When I was talking to Lilach recently, she was commenting on how nice it is that she, out of all of the grandchildren, was old enough and fortunate enough to know her great grandparents and have a relationship with them. Lilach naturally mentioned Bubby who just recently passed away. Next Lilach recalled Uncle Ben. Uncle Ben and Aunt Helen are not another Uncle and Aunt to us and our children, they are almost like another grandparent.

Uncle Ben was a self-made person. This was not out of choice. Uncle Ben's father passed away when he was only a few months old and his mother could not support him, so he was very poor as a child and had to fend for himself. He had to build himself up and build a life for himself.

Uncle Ben was a ‘builder’.

Uncle Ben did not just build himself up, he built and contributed to the world around him. He had a high position in the US Army and was of the first units to liberate the camps in the Holocaust. Through his army position he looked out for Am Yisrael.

Following the war, in the time before Hakamat Hamedina (establishment of the State of Israel), before 1948, Uncle Ben was put in charge of auctioning off and selling excess US army supplies and equipment. Uncle Ben set up and publicized public auctions and arranged for the auctions to be held at the strategic hour of 2am, and then he proceeded to buy the supplies himself at cheap rates. He then shipped all of the supplies to the Hagana and other groups in Israel. Uncle Ben helped, in his own way, in the building of the Land of Israel.

And on a personal level, Uncle Ben built a family. A family strongly routed in Jewish values, leading the way with the annual hosting of the family Chanukah party, including the set menu of home made apple sauce, home made cole slaw, frozen potato latkes, and of course turkey. Uncle Ben was known for his famous handshake, where he would often say, Come on Mike, gimme a grinder.

All in all, Uncle Ben was a pillar of strength, one who contributed to the building of the nation of Israel, and to the Land of Israel, rooted in Jewish and family values.

When we thought of the significance of the naming of our son, our 'Ben', we too thought it appropriate to that our son will be a builder. ‘Benaya’. ‘Al tikri banayech, ela bonayech’. A builder and contributor to the world around him. Our Benaya will not be complacent or just look out for himself in the world.

But what kind of world must he build? What kind of world must we all build?

I asked a question at the Shalom Zachar that has been on my mind. Why is it that after Chava sins, the Torah says that her Onesh was "B'etzev teldi banim" (women will have children with great sorrow). Why ‘B'etzev’ (in sorrow)? I can understand if the Torah would have said that the mother feels "b'ke'eiv” (in pain), but the mother is not in real sorrow?! Rashi and the mefarshim discuss whether the eitzev (sorrow) refers to the difficulty of leida (birth) or of tzaar gidul banim (challenge of raising children). But in either case, it is not Etzev!?

After struggling for an answer to this, I think that a possible answer lies in a fascinating Medrash that I read at the Shalom Zachor. The Medrash outlines what the baby goes through during the 9 months in the womb. The baby or the neshoma pleads with the Hakadosh Baruch Hu that he wants to remain in the the Olam Ha'emet and not enter the physical world we live in. The Neshoma is forced against its will to enter the world.

I think that the chiddush, the insight into our question, lies in the mother’s deep and inherent connection to her baby. Halana witnessed this herself as she has felt the emotional pain of her new baby having to leave the Olam Ha'emet where he had a personal charusa with the mal'ach on kol Hatorah Kula. We are taught that the Mal’ach (angel) teaches the little baby the entire Torah during the 9 months in the womb, and at the time of birth, in the flash of a second, the baby forgets all this it was taught. As Lilach said to me before the baby was born, she turned to me and said, “Aba – the baby must be up to Davarim by now!"

And so the baby pleads with Hashem: Why take me from the world of emet and kedusha (holiness and truth) to throw me into the world of gashmiyut and real life challenges.

I think that the message is that the onus is on us. Each one of us. We have an onus to be builders. We need to build up a world that resembles the Kedusha and emet, which will allow the new Neshoma (soul) to enter the world and feel that this is world is a place of Nigunim and Torah and Ahava.

What kind of world are we actively building? Is this a world that we feel is ready to bring our children into? What world should our son build?

Firstly, just as we just recently read that Hakadosh Baruch Hu added the name of Hashem to Avram and Sarai's names, so too by adding the letters Yud Keh to Ben we remind our son Benaya that his whole life should be surrounded by Hashem. Every action and every brick that he lays in the course of his ‘construction project of life’, should be with Shem Hashem Shagur B'fiv (the name of G-d on his lips).

When we live in the real world as most of us do, the fast track business world out there, we are faced with day-to-day challenges. These are difficult to overcome sometimes. Our bracha to our son is that he always remembers right from wrong and chooses the path that includes Shem Hashem and Kiddush Hashem (sanctifying G-d’s name in the world). The choice is ours to make. In the business world out there we can strive to make a Kiddush Hashem or we can very easily get pulled down by the challenges of the world.

We must stay on our toes to learn the lessons from the builders in the parshiyot we have read over the last few weeks. Will we be of the builders of the Migdal Bavel (tower of Babylon); or will we build a Teivah (ark) of Hashem's command? Will we build communities built upon "Vatimaleh Haaretz Chamas’ (land filled with robbery), and of Sedom and Amorah, of utter disregard for each other; or will we build a tent of Chesed (loving kindness) open on all sides as Avraham Avinu has shown us?

In naming our son Benaya, we hope that he will remember Avraham's tent and Avraham’s teachings always, and be a builder of Chesed in the world: Olam Chesed Yibaneh" (we should build the world into a place of loving kindness). The Hebrew word Benaya and Yibane have the same letters. May our Benaya always seek ways of kindness and of Chesed.

Building is a very long process. When one builds a house or plants a tree, we need to have patience and Emunah (faith) that it will be built in the end and will ultimately bear fruit. It is easy for anyone to give up before even starting. No one would have doubted Uncle Ben had he given up as a young starving child with all the odds against him. Uncle Ben looked at the situation as an opportunity, not an obstacle and focused on the positives, in order to re-build.

The Torah tells us in this past week's Parsha that 'Vayivarech Hashem at Avraham Bakol". Rashi points out that the gematria (numerical value) of the word ‘Bakol’ is the same as that of the word 'Ben'. What is the connection between a ‘Ben’, a child, and Bakol?

This concept of Kol is also found in the morning tefillot: “Yotzer Ohr U'vorei Choshech oseh shalom u'vorei et HAKOL.” This line actually comes from a Pasuk in Sefer Yeshaya, except for one thing. Chazal in instituting the tefilla, changed the end of the Pasuk. The pasuk read Yotzer orh uvoreh choshech osei shalom uvorei at HARAH. Chazal changed the word RA to HAKOL. Chazal are teaching us an important lesson: There is no RAH in the world. I like to say that there are no problems in life, only challenges. My good friend Shmuli Mandelbaum reminded me once "Kol Men D'avid rachmana – l'tav avid" – everything that Hashem does is for the good. We look at the world with the perspective of ‘HAKOL’ – the cup half full, not half empty.

Some in the outside world look at having kids as a burden. “How are you going to afford them?” they will ask. “It is too much to handle” they claim. 'Little kids little problems- big kids big problems.' But the Torah and Jewish perspective is the focus on the beauty and the Bakol. There is so much inherent beauty and joy in each child. Each child is a world unto themselves, and a source of joy and nachas. By looking at our children we are able to see the good in the world. Hence the equal gematria of Bakol and Ben.

When one builds a house or plants a tree, the perspective and the she'ifa is not a momentary outlook. It is a haskafat Olam that we are building our families and our homes for the future. One of the most critical parts of construction or of planting is the strong roots. We are building a place and a foundation that will be strong for our children and grandchildren and their grandchildren to grow and learn and serve Hashem in this world. Many of us here have made a personal decision to build those strong roots in our Aliya and our own personal Lech Lecha, investing not only for ourselves, but primarily for our children and grandchildren.

And finally, we bless our Benaya that he should always recall the subtle teaching of another beniya (construction) in these last few parshiyot: What was the first instinct that Noach had after being saved from the Mabul (flood)? What does Avraham do after HAshem promises him and his many children the promised land? By both the Torah tells us that their first initiative is: “VAYIVEN mizbayach" (and he built a sacrtifice to G-d). They build. They build out of clear Hakarat Hatov to Hashem (sincere thanks to G-d). B'ezrat Hashem (G-d willing) our Benaya will know to recognize and acknowledge Yad Hashem (G-d’s hand) in the crazy and sometimes challenging world we live in, and know that at all times, that this is not a building of “Kochi V'otsem Yadi asu li et Hachayil Hazeh” (a building of our own credit), but rather he will turn to give Hakarat Hatov and thanks to Hashem.

Our grandparents, Bubby and Zeidy, Bubby and Zaidy, Grandma and Grandpa, Hannah and Papa, as well as Aunt Helen and Uncle Ben, together with our parents, have planted the roots and dug the foundations. Now it is up to us and to our Benaya to build the world into a worthy place for Hashem and us to dwell in.

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